During the time spent at UNE, I had a lot of essays that were assigned. Many of which were from my First Year Experience class. For this class I had asked some of my friends to read my writing to give me feedback and vise versa. Much of the feedback were global comments. The global comments allowed me to make sure that what I am trying to express is clear to the reader and assures me that the transitions flow well. In sum, the revision techniques I have learned in my English composition class has been helpful outside of his class.
For the first semester, there have been many essays that were written. This required the use of the essay drafting technique. An example of this would be the “This I Believe” Essay, where we wrote about our beliefs. The drafting technique was useful because it helped to improve my writing for this prompt. It allowed my thoughts to be explained well, which gets the connection across to the reader. In sum, the essay drafting technique has been useful and will most likely be useful to other essays in the future.
The active reading skills I have learned in English, has allowed me to apply this skill into my Interprofessional First Year Experience class. For this class, we are asked to read multiple sections from the book “This I Believe”. The annotation has allowed me to be able to have little notes to remind me of the passage without having to reread the article, which helps when we have group discussions on the reading. The notes I take are also able to help me prepare for an essay that is to be assigned later on in the course. Overall, the active reading skills I have learned during english class, has helped me to succeed in my Interprofession Experience class and I believe that this skill will be able to help in other classes in the future.
Growing up my parents were not home a lot, therefore, I had to turn to someone else to support. That was how it has always been in my house. My aunt would come over to my house and babysit me until she moved to virginia, so I was pretty close to her. When it came time to my final decision, I was unable to do it. So, I decided to visit one of the colleges with my aunt. This caused a big problem for my parents (apparently). My parents wanted to be involved, but did not express the care they have for such, which made me turn to my aunt for help. Later that day after the college visit, I was sat down at a table with my dad, uncle, and my aunt. We had talked about the lack of communication I had with my dad and that he wanted to be more involved with my life. For this conversation, I think that this conversation could be related back to Turkle, because she talks about the value of being heard and understood. However, I did not understand that my father had valued this conversation. Overall, the lack of conversation with my father allowed me to see him in a new perspective.
When classes first started, I felt very uncomfortable marking up the text, because in the past marking up the text is a sin. However, I have become more comfortable annotating and have started writing better notes in the margin. In the beginning, I had only written notes that were for understanding and it did help me later on what the text was about. Although as time went by, I began writing questions, relating the text to different things, as well as challenging the the text. Compared to the first set of annotations, I think that I have made less notes on understanding and beginning to do more of a variety of notes.
This was the annotation made for the reading for Robin Marantz Henig’s “What Is It about 20-Somethings?” (Present)
The annotations made for Daniel Gilbert’s “Reporting Live from Tomorrow” (Past)
Overall, I think that I have improved on my skills to annotate a text. I am now able to note on more than notes that are for understanding. Now I can write a variety of annotations and I am not limited to just annotate for understanding. The understanding comments are gone and are now having comments on a drawing the text to something, asking questions, etc.
Journal 13:
For speech 3, we are to talk about how much someone means to us. To me, this is personal and my emotions may get in the way of my speech. In my opinion, a strength that I have as I prepare for my speech is the way that I am able to project my voice throughout the class. However, my anxieties outweigh my strength. I feel like I am going to fidget, lose eye contact, and use a lot of filler words. Although, I will try and practice so that those anxieties do not affect me. I am also concerned about my conclusion, I want to be able to ease the audience out of my speech, this was also a problem in my previous speeches. I think that with the dry-run, these anxieties and problems will decrease and I will feel more comfortable when presenting my speech. Overall, with more preparation for this speech, I think that this speech can be an improvement from the previous speeches.
Generally, the mistakes made in the first essay had multiple appearances throughout my second essay. In both this essay and the previous essay, I was unable to elaborate quotes the way I wanted to express. I would elaborate the quote in a way that makes sense in my head, but it didn’t connect in the same way for the reader. Therefore, for this essay I wanted to slow down and think how I want to word my elaboration of the quote. In my previous essay, some of my peers had questioned what I was trying to say in the elaboration, compared to that essay, I feel like my peers connected the quotes the way I imagined. An example of one of my elaboration states:
“It all adds up to a flight from conversation- at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, conversation in which we play with ideas, in which we allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable” (Turkle 379). As we have these conversations, we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.
From this my peers were able to get the connection, because it was stated directly. Whereas in the previous essay, I think I was being vague, which caused confusion. Overall, the feedback from both essays have allowed me to develop my essay further.
Based on the comments I have received for my first essay, I think that I have plenty of room to improve with this next essay. The first essay did not have a clear thesis and did explain my purpose for the essay. For the second essay I want to be able to make the thesis clear and state my purpose. I also want to make sure that my transitions are better than before. Overall, I did do as well as I thought I did, but I will make sure to improve with my writing based on my feedback from the first essay.
Growing up my parents made sure I was not constantly on my devices. Later on in my life, my vision had become worst. The doctor had mention that it could be possible that it was due to genetics, since my dad had glasses, but my dad immediately rejected that explanation and said it was because I was always on my phone.
I will admit that I am on my phone quite often. However, both of my parents seem to be more addicted to smartphones than I am. Between my parents, I think that my dad has the biggest problem with technology. My dad likes to keep up to date with the news, but I am sure that is the same with many adults. Although, it has effected him to the point where he is constantly on his phone. At home, he would watch the news, movies, sports, etc. at the dinner table. Then, at night he would have the news playing beside him all night long. My dad is has the biggest technology addiction I know. Regardless of his addiction, my dad still continues to make sure that we get to school on time and all does “dad things” that needed to be done.
During my time in high school, we were never told to do peer- reviews for our essay. The process was very useful, having other people help you improve your work. However, when I made my reviews I was a bit hesitant. I feel bad when I am to tell someone how to improve their work. This is because I worry that I may hurt the feelings of the writer. Between the two revisions, I think the revisions I made locally were better than the global. Locally was mainly grammar and punctuation, Global was more about the content of the writing. Overall, I think that the peer-review worked out well.
